Getting out of our ego (Day 251)

On the way to Andong we had such an enriching conversation about life and getting out of our ego

There is not too much to describe today. Packing, trains to the bus station, 2.5 hours on the bus, taxi, hotel, a nice meal, me coaching and Tim exploring Andong. We did discover that this hotel is known as a "Love Hotel". We did wonder why there are 2 packs of condoms in the room!!! All in a day’s grownup travelling. What I will share though is such an enriching conversation that Tim and I had on the bus if you don’t mind.

Tim is currently reading “WTF! Life is Not Always as it Seems” by Dave Clark, who we both spent a lovely time with when in Melbourne. His book is Autobiographical and the aim of the book is “to shine a bright light into the world of the mind, the brain and our mental health.” Now, those of you who know us will probably be thinking that this is more Lindsey’s genre. Travelling together near enough 24/7, I think we are merging into one!

Tim was reading Chapter 7 – “Take control – and here’s how you can do it” where Dave shares how NLP has really helped him. Tim had just read a section on “delete, distort and generalisation” and wanted to discuss this. As a trainer of NLP, I have studied, trained and coached this many times, noticing people’s language patterns, yet even though I still notice this, I don’t often point this out to a client now.

I explained to Tim that we have thousands upon thousands of thoughts running through our heads every day. Having a deeper understanding of the nature and gift of thought, our ability to create forms or ideas from the formless energy behind life, that our thoughts come through us like those waves on the beach we were watching yesterday. They are formless and then take form, giving us an experience. This is constant. Even when I was studying NLP I intrinsically knew that we were making things far too complicated and looking at thoughts in the wrong direction. I just couldn’t put my finger on it until I discovered about the Three Principles. What is the point of analysing something that is constantly evolving from formless to form in each moment?

We had such a lovely conversation. We didn’t make anything personal and we saw the beauty in that. When we get caught up in our own ego we realised that I can go on the defence and Tim can go on the offence. It doesn’t work very well then! We chatted about our time in Tokyo. I was struggling after the death of my Mum and at times was very angry. Despite not handling this very well with Tim, I knew that my thoughts would naturally change and, in a way, was patient with myself “It too shall pass”. I didn’t need to analyse or explore my past. This just puts even more focus on thought and, as one of my clients said recently: it’s like putting more fuel on the fire.

We realised that when the other person gets caught up in their thinking and a bit off, it is not them and their behaviour that causes us to get upset, this is via our own thinking. We don’t need to react to this and make it personal to us, instead, by coming from a place of love and compassion, our natural state, we can hold the space for the other person and know that they will eventually get through their own thought-storm. What a great discussion. What great learning and who better to share this with than Tim, my love, my best friend…and on 25th July, it’s our 26th Wedding Anniversary :).